Disclaimer: I do not own Biker Mice From Mars, nor do I make any profit
from this fic. This is just for the enjoyment of their fans.
Location: Small pub in northern India.
The shrill ringing of a cellular phone disrupts the gory battle. A female,
clad in black leather, takes the phone from her belt and, while holding
her attacker at bay with a gun, says, with a flip of her brown hair, "This
better be good. I'm kinda in the middle of something here."
Her attacker takes this opportunity to lunge for her throat. He knocks the
gun out of her hand, and opens his mouth to reveal long fangs.
She dodges out of the way, whistles to her partner, and tosses the phone
to said partner.
A thin brown tail wraps around the flying phone, while it's owner plunges
a broken chair leg into the chest of her opponent. The opponent screams
and falls to the floor in a limp pile.
"One down," she pants. Then she looks around the room. "Five
to go." She puts the phone in her hand and holds it up to her helmeted
head. "Hello? Hey! Bossman! How ya doing!" She ducks as a body
goes flying above her head. "Hold on a minute. Good aim, Sis!"
'Sis' nods and throws a wooden stake into the chest of the person she just
threw. Then she falls on her hands and mule kicks another attacker in the
jaw, sending him reeling a few steps. Her partner uses this moment to copy
'Sis' and throws a stake into his chest. 'Sis' smiles. "Three left."
Her partner passes her the phone.
"Which means, three for me. Bossman for you." She turns to the
three. "Ready for the Big Bite?"
"What do you want, Boss?" asks 'Sis'. "Ah-ha. Ah-ha. Mhhmmmm.
Now? Hold on." She pulls out a gun and shoots her partner's last opponent
in the head. A second later said head explodes. "Yeah. We're done.
OK. I'll tell her..." She replaces the phone on her belt. "...Ya
"Why'd ya do that?! I was having fun!"
"We got another mission. In Chicago." Her partner smiles.
"All right! Back to some decent tunes! I was getting sick a these sitars!"
She points to a sitar neck sticking into a chest.
'Sis' laughs. "And you're gonna love the next part. We're watching
Her partner removes her helmet to reveal brown fur, brown hair, big ears,
buck teeth, and red antenna. She shakes her head. "Oooo! This is getting
interesting. Male or female?"
Location: Waiting room in a Chicago Airport.
A blonde woman with pink heart-shaped sunglasses hands 'Sis' a manila envelope
and just walks away. 'Sis' opens it. She pulls out a handful of surveillance
photos and a sheet of paper. She hands her partner the photos while she
reads the letter. The letter simply said:
"Observe Martians. Report any suspicious activities. Absolutely NO
INTERFERENCE!!!" 'Sis' whistles.
"He really means business. It's in all caps and three exclamation points!"
Her partner sifts through the photos, then suddenly stops. "Hey! I
know these two!"
"Great! Now I have sympathy for them!" jokes 'Sis'. Her partner
hands her the photo of the two white ones. The photo seems to portray them
arguing about something.
"Ha. Ha. Ha." She looks at another photo. "I thought she
'Sis' sighs. "OK. I'll bite. No pun intended. How do you know them?"
"I'm related to them."
"OK. I'm past sympathy. I now completely pity them."
"Very funny, JBJ."
"I know, Vikki."
"You'd better call me, Lane, for this mission."
Lane hands her the photo of the white female. "Her name's Vick. It
may get confusing."
JBJ picks up her bag. "Let's go. We're wasting time."
"Now who's the slave driver?"
Location: Last Chance Garage, Chicago.
A bright red stunt cycle skids to a stop barely half an inch from an empty
rootbeer bottle. It's rider raises his hands above his head and lets out
a victory howl.
"YES!!! Once again, It is proven that I, Vinnie The Blur, am the BADDEST
mammajammer this side of the asteroid belt!"
"And the crowd goes wild," yawns a sarcastic Vikki, leaning against
a light pole. "If I still had my bike, I would show you who's the Queen
"But ahead of every queen is a king," remarks Vinnie.
"That's what I got Modo for, Bro." She blows a kiss up to Modo.
Modo is sitting on his bike, waiting for Vinnie to move out of the way.
Throttle sits beside him on his own bike. "I wonder what they're talking
about," remarks Throttle.
"Vikki's probably giving Vin an ego check," answers Modo. He then
pats his bike's gas tank. "Come on, Hoss. Help me impress my lady."
He guns his engine and speeds towards the bottle.
About five feet away from the bottle, Hoss suddenly puts on the brakes by
herself and stops on a dime. She also sends Modo flying over the handlebars.
He slides to a stop with his nose three centimeters from the bottle.
Vikki runs up to him and kneels beside him. "Modo? Are you all right?"
Modo pushes himself into a sitting position. "Yeah. Thanks for the
good luck kiss."
"Sorry. Wasn't that lucky after all."
Modo takes her hand and kisses her wrist. "Yeah it was. I probably
woulda hit the bottle without it." They both laugh and are still laughing
when Throttle rides up.
"I'm not exactly sure if I can beat that one, Bro." At that, Vikki
smiles devilishly and wraps her tail around Throttle's ankles and trips
him. He lands hard on his rear.
All turn at the sound of clapping to see Charley standing in the doorway
of the garage. "How about lunch?"
Vinnie sneaks up behind her, puts his arms around her, and whispers, "Only
if I can have you for dessert."
Charley squirms out of his embrace. "Maybe. If you're a good boy at
the table." She gets a good whiff of him. "And you take a shower!
When's the last time you had a bath?!"
Vikki chuckles. "Don't ask. Just hose him down." Charley sighs,
shrugs, and walks back into the garage. Vinnie starts to follow but suddenly
gets a face full of water from the hose Charley is holding. The others laugh
at the ridiculous sight of Vinnie trying to fend off the spray, then suddenly
Charley turns the hose on them! Vikki and Throttle push Modo to the front
since his front needed to be cleaned. Modo jumps a bit as Vikki's hand connects
with his rear.
Vikki leans up to his ear. "Sorry, Hun. Couldn't resist." The
water then abruptly stops.
Puzzled, Charley bangs the side of the nozzle against her hand. Then she
does something stupid. She turns the nozzle so it is facing her. At that
moment, Vinnie, who had been able to sneak around Charley and step on the
hose, releases it. Charley sprays herself square in the kisser. She drops
the hose and turns to see Vinnie smiling.
"I've had my shower, Sweetheart."
Charley smirks. "Yeah. And now ya smell like a wet dog, so forget it,
Mousinova." She walks into the garage and up to her room to dry off.
Vinnie turns to Vikki.
Location: Rooftop across the street from the Last Chance Garage.
Lane sighs and stretches out onto a blanket. "Well this is exciting!"
JBJ lowers a pair of binoculars. "For once since I've known you, you're
right." She yawns and rubs her eyes. "Bossman must be paying us
back for April Fool's Day."
"How'd he figure out it was us?"
"Who else would have the backbone?" Lane starts to laugh but suddenly
JBJ stops her. "You hear that?"
Lane strains her ears. Her ears barely make out sirens. "Man! You're
getting good!" She flips out a small radio and turns it on.
"All emergency vehicles report to the West Side district. Large explosions.
Large fires. And casualties."
Suddenly JBJ flips the radio off as the mice and human ride off. "Where
are they headed?"
Lane stands and gets on a black soft-tail motorcycle with scarlet lightning.
"Why don't we find out?" JBJ nods and mounts another black soft-tail
with evergreen lightning. They drive off the roof of the building and fire
jets to slow the fall. Landing lightly on the pavement they roar off after
the mice; or at least the homing beacons they slipped on them.
They arrive to find the mice battling the blaze and rescuing victims. Suddenly
JBJ's ears detect a small cry through the chaos. From her vantage point
she sees a little girl clutching a ragged toy dog surrounded by fire. The
mice don't see her!
"Ta Hell with orders!" shouts JBJ as she guns her bike and speeds
into the inferno.
Throttle turns to see a black and green blur rush into the fire and seconds
later return; the rider pressing a frightened child to her. The bike nears
the ambulances and the rider hands over the soot covered girl to the medics.
He drives over cutting her off from a pathway of escape.
He takes in the woman's black tee-shirt with a gray wolf howling to a full
moon and the Harley Davidson insignia on it, blue jeans and black leather
chaps, black leather calf boots, a leather biker jacket and black gloves.
Her helmet matches her bike. He can't see her face through the black visor
but there is a dark brown ponytail sticking out the back.
Throttle holds out his hand. "Thanks for the assist." The biker
doesn't answer put takes the offered hand. "My name's Throttle."
The biker pulls back her hand and revs her bike. Throttle grabs her arm.
She feels pretty muscular for a girl. "It's polite to tell your name
when someone else tells theirs, Citizen."
The biker takes his wrist in her hand and squeezes until Throttle releases
her. Then she drives away; soon being met by another biker with a similar
bike except the lightning is red. Throttle is almost ready to follow when
the others ride up.
"The cops are blamin' this on a gas leak, but this smells of a stinkfish
setup to me," says Modo.
"What doesn't?" remarks Vinnie. "This whole city's starting
to reek of him!" He gets a hard punch to his shoulder by Charley. "Ouch!
Sweetheart! I didn't mean ta diss your home town but it's true!"
This is the moment Throttle's been waiting for. He makes the motion of a
whip and makes the cracking sound loudly. Charley and Vikki look to each
other and smile.
"Tough men," starts Charley.
"Tougher women," finishes Vikki.
"Speaking of tough women. Who was that gal you were talking to?"
"She didn't tell me her name, but she's got a strong grip," replies
Throttle while absently rubbing his sore wrist. "Let's just head back
to the garage."
They leave with JBJ and Lane following a safe distance behind. Lane huffs.
"Why do all the guys fall for you?"
"Maybe 'cause I'm not a six foot tall mouse?"
"And your excuse for Tan Tush?"
"Some guys are attracted to mystery."
"So I gotta play the cold, silent type, huh?"
"Like that's ever going to happen."
Back at the garage, everyone is contemplating what Limburger is up to. Not
knowing they are being spied upon.
"Why are we just sitting around?" shouts Vinnie.
JBJ chuckles as she and Lane watch from the roof, listening to the conversation
through a radio. "Yep. You're related."
"We need to figure out what Limburger's plan is," answers Throttle.
"LIMBURGER!!" shouts Lane. "That bulbous back stabbing barnacle's
"Shut it! I can't hear," reprimands JBJ while concentrating on
"It's pretty obvious," says Charley. "He blows up the buildings.
Gets paid by the city to clean up the mess, which goes to Plutark. Then
gets paid to rebuild."
Vikki pipes up. "With everyone blaming a gas leak."
"He is a gas leak," laughs Modo.
Lane chuckles. "Good one. And it fits so well."
JBJ reaches and retrieves a black laptop and starts typing. "Strange.
Limburger isn't profiled as an E.T."
Lane rolls her eyes. "That's a good thing. When they're ready to come
out with being alien, they're ready for full fledged invasion. At least
with closed-minded species."
"Wait! You mean Limburger's a..."
"Plutarkian? Yep. In all their bloated glory." Lane's face darkens
with a scowl.
"Shit! I gotta contact Bossman." JBJ types a new command and the
screen goes black. Then a man's voice comes over the speakers.
"Central here. Report."
Lane who has been looking over JBJ's shoulder says, "Hey, Bossman!
Ya finally got it working again!"
"JBJ? Please tell your partner to be quiet or her next assignment will
be in Antarctica."
JBJ smiles. "You heard the man."
"Ahem! Your report?"
"Oh, yeah! We got a new E.T. to deal with. A Plutarkian."
The laptop vibrates as Bossman yells, "What?!"
"A Plutarkian name of Lawrence Limburger. Hiding out as an entrepreneur
here in Chicago."
Lane shudders. "Ew! Big words!"
"Silence! JBJ? What of the mice?"
"They seem to be trying to stop the Plutarkian."
"As any self respecting Martian would!" shouts Lane.
"Lane. Go spy on your cousins," commands JBJ. Lane huffs but does
as she is told.
"Keep observing the mice and I'll see about the Plutarkian. Central
out." JBJ closes the laptop and moves looks over at Lane grinning and
looking through the binoculars. JBJ looks to the garage. Even from the distance
of the roof to the window she can make out Vikki and Modo... making out.
"They shift gears pretty fast," jokes JBJ.
"His hand's heading south!" shouts Lane still grinning. "No!
North! Wait! Back south! No!... Would you make up your mind here! I ain't
getting any younger!" JBJ sighs and takes away the binoculars. "Hey!
What you do that for?"
"You really have to ask?"
"Well. I don't have your eyes."
"Or my respect of privacy." Getting back to business, JBJ asks,
"Where are the others?"
"They're all still in the garage. And besides, we are supposed to watch
"Your twisting the orders to suit yourself. Again."
"We all have our gifts."
Lane is about to say more when the radar for the bugs starts beeping like
"Dracula!" curses JBJ. "They found the bugs!" They try
to gather their stuff, when three bikes surround them.
Throttle freezes. "You!" JBJ turns to the sound of his voice and
he gets a good look at her face. Honey-tanned skin. Pink full lips. A delicate
nose. And almond-shaped, dark brown with flecks of gold, eyes. Then Throttle's
and the other's attention falls to Lane.
Her outfit almost matches JBJ's except for her top is a long sleeved, black
midriff tee-shirt, very tight. No chaps. And a black leather vest, similar
to Throttle's, instead of a jacket. And of course she isn't wearing her
helmet so it is plain to see she is a mouse.
Vinnie and Vikki's mouths drop. Vikki shouts, "Victory Lane Velaci?!
What by the light of Phobos are you doing here?!"
Throttle, Modo, and Charley ask simultaneously, "Who?!"
Lane does a grand bow. "Victory Lane Velaci at your service. But at
the moment, call me Lane."
Throttle shakes his head. "Where'd you get a name like that and what
are you doing spying on us?"
"My dad met my mom when he won a moto-cross. And as for the second
part..." JBJ slaps her hand over Lane's mouth.
"Hey!" shouts Vinnie. "You don't treat our cousin like that!"
"Cousin?" asks Charley. Vinnie nods and Lane pulls JBJ's hand
"It's cool. They're OK."
"I don't care," hisses JBJ. "Move out."
Throttle shouts, "You're not going anywhere!"
"Chill, J," says Lane.
"Now," commands JBJ. She turns to see Vinnie and Vikki aiming
lasers at her.
"You're not taking our cousin anywhere until you tell us what's going
on," is Vinnie's cold comment.
JBJ sighs and puts her hands on her hips. "You really think that scares
me? But if you must know," She flips out a small cylinder and points
it at Vinnie and Vikki's lasers. "I suggest you drop your weapons."
"And if we don't?" jokes Vikki.
JBJ shrugs. "You're loss." The cylinder starts beeping and their
lasers blow up in their hands and Vikki falls to the ground. A tear of blood
trickles from her eye.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!" booms Modo's enraged voice. He grabs
both JBJ's wrists. She drops to the ground and flips Modo over her. He flies
ten feet before he stops.
JBJ stands and brushes herself off. She feels a pinprick in her shoulder.
She turns to see the red fuzz of a tranquilizer dart. Her eyes see Lane
holding the gun the dart is from before they grow dim.
"Sorry partner." Lane walks over and helps JBJ down. "Things
were getting out of hand."
Groggily, JBJ smiles. "I knew I shoulda took that bloody thing away
from you." Her eyes close and she loses consciousness.
"Would someone mind telling me what's going on?" asks Throttle
trying to keep his voice calm.
Lane removes the dart from JBJ's shoulder and checks her pulse. "Her
time of the month." The guys take a cautious step back. Vinnie raises
"Can I borrow one of those?" Charley slaps his shoulder.
Lane moves over to Vikki in Modo's arms. "I don't get it. That gizmo's
only suppossed to work on laser weapons."
Modo strokes Vikki's forehead. "The Plutarkian's did something to her
eyes. They are lasers."
Lane sucks in air through her teeth, gritting them against a very untasteful
joke. "Can I say it?"
Vikki moans, eyes still closed, "If looks could kill. Right?"
Lane nods and checks Vikki's eyes. "No serious damage. Just make sure
you keep those shades on for a while. Light might hurt."
Throttle clears his throat. "What were you two doing spying on us?"
"We have orders. We're part of an security organization that protects
Earth from any type of danger to it's freedom."
"And why does that include us?" asks Vinnie.
Lane hoists JBJ onto her shoulder. "Don't ask me I just follow orders....
When I want to." Under her breath she mutters. "Girl! Go on a
diet!" Out loud. "Now? Would you giving a friend's business partner
a place to crash till that sedative wears off?"
The mice, Vikki leaning on Modo for support, and Charley lead her to garage.
Charley asks, "Why'd she get so..."
"Pissed?" suggests Lane. "Our organization is the only family
she has now. She doesn't want to mess up."
Inside the garage, Lane drops JBJ onto the couch and flops down beside her.
She looks to the others. "So what's up with the stinkfish?"
To Be Continued.