Contents Warning: none, just a few references to other tv shows and
Author's Note: Well, I said I'd do this, and so I did. This was fun.
Disclaimer: Oops, silly me, did I say they were mine? I didn't? Good, then I didn't lie. ;-) Throttle, Modo, Vinnie, Stoker, carbine, Harley and Rimfire belong to the creators of BMFM, whoever they are. All the SL characters belong to Decembergirl. But everyone else is mine. I made no money off this and I don't think I ever will. Bummer. ;-)
Once upon a time, there was a king. He was happily married and they had
a boy, a white-furred boy they named Vinnie. Because of his white fur, he
was also called Snow White.
But, alas [I love that word!], one day the king died and the queen remarried with an evil sorcerer named Karbunkle.
As years went by, the sorcerer became very jealous of Vinnie and concentrated on finding new and evil ways of hurting him.
One day, he invented a magic mirror that would answer any question one
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall," Karbunkle asked, "Who has the biggest ego of them all?"
And the mirror showed an image of Vinnie, riding his bike, showing off in front of the local babes.
"No!!!" Karbunkle shrieked. "I have the biggest ego, me, me, me!!! Not that sneaky little, lowlife " He almost choked on his anger. "Greasepit!"
you called, boss?" His main accomplice entered
"Yes, I called. I want you to do something for me. Take that pesky rodent stepson of mine and go into the woods with him. Tell him there's something there you want to show him. He'll believe you, he's too naive to suspect anything. Then, in the woods, you kill him. Do you think you'll remember that?"
"Duuh Take the rodent into the woods, kill him, yeah, I think I can remember that."
"Good. No go do it!"
And so it was that some hours later, Vinnie was in the woods, walking around with Greasepit. But when Greasepit tried to kill him, Vinnie saw it coming, kicked him unconscious and ran away from the castle. No way was he ever going there again.
But then, where to? He just kept walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and .. well, you get the picture, until suddenly he spotted a house.
Forgetting everything his dear-old, grey-furred mama ever told him about good manners, he entered the house. There stood a large table with seven plates of hot dogs. Now, Vinnie was a waste basket on legs in normal mode, but now that he was this hungry, food disappeared into his stomach faster then you can say 'stinkfish'.
Burping loudly, he got up after his gigantic meal, and headed upstairs. There, he found a room with seven beds and he crashed on the nearest one, not even bothering to take his boots off.
Some time later, seven people entered the house. The first one who came
in, a tan mouse, saw that the food was missing and scowled at a large, grey
one: "Did you eat all the hot dogs again?"
The grey one threw his hands up in defence and another tanned mouse came to his help. "He was with us all day, bro, he can't have done it."
"But then who-?"
"Shush!" a red-furred female hissed, "I hear something upstairs. Sounds like a hibernating bear or something."
They carefully made their way upstairs, opened the door and found Vinnie
slumped on one of the beds.
"Who the hell is that punk that's sleeping in my bed?" the tan mouse demanded to know. "And why is he wearing his boots? Get up, you!!!" That last remark was directed at Vinnie, who finally woke up from the noise. They all demanded an explanation, so he gave it to them. He exaggerated a bit [there were now, for example, at least ten goons with Greasepit], but after all, we are talking about the biggest ego of them all, right?
After he had told his story, the seven introduced themselves as the freedomfighters.
Their names were Throttle, Modo, Stoker, Harley, Bordeaux, Arrence and Terrence.
It took a lot of arguing and convincing, but after a while they decided to let him stay, although he wasn't allowed to go fighting with them. He had to stay home and take care of the household.
[**brief pause because writer has gone into a fit of laughter imagining Vinnie in a pink apron doing the dishes**]
At this point in our story, it might be a good idea to leave our Snow
White to do the dishes and go check on Karbunkle. When Greasepit had come
back, he hadn't told Karbunkle about his failure, but said he had killed
So when Karbunkle asked his mirror, again: "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the biggest ego of them all?", he expected to see himself; instead, he saw an image of Vinnie in a pink apron, doing the dishes.
Karbunkle was, to say the least, not amused. He yelled and screamed and
yelled and screamed at Greasepit, throwing things at him,
. Not a
pretty sight, I tell ya.
But finally, he calmed down a bit and mumbled: "I you want something done right, you'll have to do it you have to do it yourself." With that, he set about preparing some foul-smelling liquid.
And now, back to Vinnie! He was just finished doing the dishes and was
thinking about maybe sweping the floor, when someone knocked on the door.
He opened and saw an old, ugly woman holding an apple. "May I help
you?" "Yes, young man, would you like to buy an apple? Nice and
shiny, all red, juicy
" And of course, for once, Vinnie did something
decent and bought an apple. As the woman walked away, he closed the door
and turned back to the task at hand, namely: to clean the floor or not to
clean the floor, biting the apple. When the freedomfighters came home some
hours later they found Vinnie sprawled across the floor, still holding the
apple in one hand. Harley immediately got over to Vinnies body and felt
for pulse. Nothing.
"He's dead, Jim-I mean Stoke," she said.
Terrence picked up the apple and sniffed. "Poisoned," he concluded. There's nothing we can do except for bury him.
"First thing in the morning," Stoker decided.
And so the next morning the sun rose to seven freedom fighters carrying
a white mouse on their shoulders.
They came across this female biker, who stopped to ask what was wrong. After they told her, she said: "Lemme see that."
They put down Vinnie and the woman, Charley, said: "But he's not poisoned, he just choked on a piece of apple." And she did the Heimlich-manoeuvre on Vinnie. Then, she bent over to give him mouth-to-mouth and- "HALT!!!", a voice bellowed, and suddenly a small, thin man [no, not Karbunkle], dressed in a suit and carrying a briefcase appeared.
"And you are?" Arrence inquired politely.
"My name is not important. I am from the PAAFOIIOR, the People Against All Forms Of Indecencies, Imagined Or Real. I'm afraid, Miss," he directed to Charley, "That what you were about to do is too close to a kiss to be safe from the bestiality law. I suggest you do not proce-"
**WHACK** A large hand swiped away the lawyer-type and suddenly, they heard a young, female voice say: "Don't stand there gawking like you've never seen the hand of God before. Carry on!"
So they did. Vinnie came through just as Charlie was breathing air into his longues and the first thing he said was: "Hey, pretty lady, not that I don't like being kissed, but I like to be awake for it." And so he more then made up for it.
While Vinnie and Charlie were kissing, Stoker said, scratching the back
of his head: "I don't get it. He's been without air and fresh blood
for more then 15 hours and here's nothing wrong with him! How come he doesn't
have any brain damage?"
"Easy, bro," Throttle explained, "No brain, ..."
"No damage," Modo filled in.
And they all rode free ever after.
"Oh, c'me on, Vinnie, I warned ya. You brought it on yourself, you know."